You may be a Type 3
Threes are focused on achievement and being well regarded by others. Motivated by external validation and accomplishment, they are often seen as driven, high-achieving, or focused. They may struggle to acknowledge their own emotions and be overly focused on what others think.
Type 3 Overview
People are drawn to you because you are charming and energetic. You exude confidence and work hard to earn praise for your many accomplishments. You are dedicated and can fiercely focus on any goal you set. You have a zest for life and maximizing potential in any opportunity. You are often a good storyteller and you can enjoy playing host and entertaining. You can easily socialize with others when you want to and can earn support for your ideas with very effective communication skills.
You experience distress because you can get caught up in what others think of you and turn this into people-pleasing. In particular, you want to be perceived as successful and winning in life and this may cause poor life balance behaviors. You can move into performance mode, not being genuine with others or focusing on how your behavior is capable of manipulating them.
You can be overly driven to achieve and turn anything into something to maximize or win. You can bury emotions and generally prefer to avoid them entirely (at least those you see as a hindrance), creating an attitude that might dismiss others' emotions as well. You can suffer from imposter syndrome and fear that you may lose your status if you don’t stay in favor with the right people or circumstances.
You are invaluable to society because you push us to dream big, be innovative, and meet the goals that we make. You can help a group stay on schedule and value achievement. You are a visionary and love to encourage people towards a mission. You are a cheerleader and lend your confidence to society so they work together to achieve more than any one person could on their own.
You exude confidence and work hard to earn praise for your many accomplishments.
You can get caught up in what others think of you and turn this into people-pleasing.
You can be overly driven to achieve and turn anything into something to maximize or win.
You are invaluable to society because you push us to dream big, be innovative, and meet the goals that we make.
The Core of Type 3
What makes you a Type 3 is your core desires, motivations, fears, and goals. No two people are exactly the same, but all Type 3’s will have the following in common
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Core Desires
To be affirmed as successful in anything
to be distinguished from others/sought out by others
to feel connected and known
to be admired
to impress
to bring value
to feel important to people or a goal
to enjoy people and new opportunities
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Loving Messages
"You are loved for simply being you."
"It's really impressive how you do [X]."
"Your hard work really makes a difference."
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Natural Gifts
Charm and energy
Dedication and goal-setting
Enthusiasm
Maximizing potential
Storytelling and hosting
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Core Fears
Being exposed or thought of as unsuccessful, inefficient, or valueless
failing to be or appear successful
not winning or being the best
receiving negative/critical feedback or attention
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Blind Spot
Deceit
deceiving yourself into believing that you're only the image you present to others; embellishing the truth by putting on a polished persona for everyone (including yourself) to see and admire.
Overcoming these messages:
You are only as important as others think you are.
Your performance is the most important thing.
Emotions have no value.
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Triad Groups
Feeling - dominant center of intelligence about what to do
Assertive - energetic and decisive in ways they can achieve personal goals
Competency - channel disappointment or conflict into work
Pragmatist/Attachment - attach to positions in life that give them a sense of security and ease
Type 3 Support Types
Type 2 Wing (3w2)
Stands out in a crowd, friendly, self-focused, confident, charming, does not settle. May be avoidant of expressing feelings or vulnerabilities.
Type 9 traits in Stress/Challenge
May feel more apathetic about goals and decisions than usual, appearing disengaged and withdrawn. Will likely feel lost in confusion or overwhelm and struggle more with self-doubt. Can also be less judgmental than usual and more open-minded about outcomes and relationships.
Type 4 Wing (3w4)
Focused on always improving and wants recognition and appreciation for this effort. Can feel burdened by their own pressure to achieve more success, always seeking a challenge and to feel valued.
Type 6 traits in Security/Growth
More agreeable in groups and committed to following through in their relationships. Will be able to be more genuine and express their feelings more clearly. Will likely slow down and become more reflective.
How to try on Type 3
I suggest that you “try on” Type 3 and give yourself time to see how it fits you. Not every word and detail will be a perfect match, but it helps to see the traits come alive in your unique life.
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There is not a "best type"
It's common to read through the number types and think that one or two personalities sound like the best ones, but it's much less common for those to actually be your core type. Every number has its strengths and challenges and most often it feels like someone is reading your journal (how would they know that about me?) when you find your actual type!
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Understanding motivations vs excusing behavior
Each type has a set of core desires and fears that drive behaviors and perspectives. Each type also has its own spectrum of healthy, average, and unhealthy patterns. Using the Enneagram to excuse unhealthy patterns ("I'm a 3 so that's just how I am") will keep you stuck, whereas awareness and ownership of those same patterns can provide the skills we need to thrive in our roles and relationships.
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Don't just rely on a test to find your type
Enneagram tests are becoming highly accurate, but not all tests are created equal. Even the most reliable tests can be wrong because they are based on the test taker's level of self-awareness. Tests are a great starting place for narrowing down your type and trying on one or two to build the self-awareness to confirm the type. If tests aren't your thing, there are many podcasts or books that explain the types. Same rules apply.
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Understanding the connections between the numbers is key
One of the best parts of the Enneagram model is how dynamic it shows us we are and the ways in which our personality adapts to the situation. Every type has access to 4 other personality characteristics - 2 wing types (the numbers on either side of your type) and 2 other types, your Stress and Rest numbers. We can also understand our types more clearly by learning about unique groups of three types called Triads.
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The Enneagram is a tool, not a box
The power of the Enneagram exists in its ability to recognize who we are at our core - what we're most afraid of and what we most desire in life. It encourages us to use our strengths to thrive as well as uncover the (usually subconscious) barriers that keep us stuck and unhappy. You are wonderfully made and the world needs your healthiest self.
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Find a teacher or coach
There are many great ways to learn about the Enneagram types, but it can get oerwhelming quickly if you jump in alone. Getting a coach. counselor, or finding an Enneagram teacher to help guide you through the information is crucial. They can help you know the basic information but more importantly help you lean what your type looks like unique to you.
Ready to learn more?
Get the Type 3 Growth Guide
What’s Included:
Over 100 pages of tools I’ve used with my own clients, personalized for a Type 3
Roadblocks to growth
Self-care suggestions
The Quick Reference Guide for all Types (my favorite go-to)
A personalized workbook to build self-awareness and spark exploration