You may be a Type 2

Twos are primarily concerned with building and maintaining relationships because their core fear is being unlovable and therefore abandoned. They invest in relationships primarily by being helpful and focusing on meeting needs - everyone's except their own. They will likely focus on relationships as the source of their highs and lows and struggle to focus on themselves.

Type 2 Overview

People are drawn to you because you love to care for people and make them feel good. You are someone who actively looks for opportunities to help or support others. You are willing to take action or sacrifice something of your own to meet others’ needs. You are a great supporter of loved ones or causes you care about. You are often known as a great listener and someone people can trust. You are willing to work hard toward a goal and sacrifice your time and energy for others.

You experience distress because you are capable of relying too much on others (especially your personal relationships) to validate your value, emotions, and opinions. You often look outside yourself for approval and expect it in the form of attention and gratitude. You can get caught in transactional relationships in search of a guarantee that someone will be there for you.

You are sometimes blind to your own needs and uncomfortable prioritizing yourself, to the point of physical distress and mental exhaustion. You want others to pay as close attention to you as you choose to pay attention to them. When others don’t behave how you think they should, you are capable of harboring resentment and anger and acting in a way that attempts to control them.

You are invaluable to society because you can see needs and how to meet them very quickly and are usually excited to do so. You have a great capacity for compassion and empathy and feel a sense of purpose being alongside your community in both great joy and great suffering. You are often responsible for building new relationships on behalf of others and facilitating an environment of acceptance and love. You are a great friend and loyal supporter when you feel safe and loved.

  • You love to care for people and make them feel good.

  • You are capable of relying too much on others (especially your personal relationships) to validate your value, emotions, and opinions.

  • You want others to pay as close attention to you as you choose to pay attention to them.

  • You are a great friend and loyal supporter when you feel safe and loved.

The Core of Type 2

What makes you a Type 2 is your core desires, motivations, fears, and goals. No two people are exactly the same, but all Type 2’s will have the following in common

  • Core Desires

    Feeling appreciated, needed, loved, adored, and wanted

    To show love by meeting the desires of others

    To avoid disappointment

    To sacrifice for a perceived good

  • Loving Messages

    "You are wanted and loved."

    "Thank you for making me feel so special."

    "I want to hear more about you because you're important too."

    "Your thoughtfulness makes a difference."

  • Natural Gifts

    Engaging people and making them feel important

    Providing support and realizing a goal

    Cheerleading accomplishments and showing enthusiasm

    Earning trust

  • Core Fears

    Being rejected, unwanted, left out

    seen as worthless, needy, dispensable, or unworthy of love

  • Blind Spot

    Pride

    Denying your own needs and emotions while using your strong intuition to focus on the emotions/needs of others, confidently inserting your helpful support in hopes that others will say how grateful they are for your thoughtful care.

    Overcoming these messages:

    Your needs don't matter.

    You are only important for how you help others.

    You will not be abandoned for prioritizing yourself.

  • Triad Groups

    Feeling - Center of Intelligence; emphasizes their feelings in order to manage shame and maintain their image

    Compliant/Dutiful - attempts to meet personal needs by remaining committed and hard working

    Positive Outlook - channel disappointment or conflict into positivity

    Rejection - prioritize connection to others and avoiding rejection

Type 2 Support Types

Type 1 Wing (2w1)

Doesn’t play favorites with who they help, not interested in bending rules, prefer to follow commonly agreed rules, have better boundaries, direct their anger towards improving things, can neglect self-care, can be critical of others, can overwork and hyperfocus on justice or the underdog

Type 8 traits in Stress/Challenge

May be described as more intense, with more argumentative and demanding behavior. May communicate more directly and decisively, with a sense of urgency in addressing their own distress or accomplishing goals.

Type 3 Wing (2w3)

More ease with activities that require focus, delegation, and drive. Self-esteem. Able to work on a team and share the load, adaptable with a variety of settings and people. Can be prone to overworking, can prefer to help in situations that may be advantageous to them

Type 4 traits in Security/Growth

Will likely be more open to emotional distress and spend more time caring for themselves, physically and emotionally.

How to try on Type 2

I suggest that you “try on” Type 2 and give yourself time to see how it fits you. Not every word and detail will be a perfect match, but it helps to see the traits come alive in your unique life.

  • There is not a "best type"

    It's common to read through the number types and think that one or two personalities sound like the best ones, but it's much less common for those to actually be your core type. Every number has its strengths and challenges and most often it feels like someone is reading your journal (how would they know that about me?) when you find your actual type!

  • Understanding motivations vs excusing behavior

    Each type has a set of core desires and fears that drive behaviors and perspectives. Each type also has its own spectrum of healthy, average, and unhealthy patterns. Using the Enneagram to excuse unhealthy patterns ("I'm a 2 so that's just how I am") will keep you stuck, whereas awareness and ownership of those same patterns can provide the skills we need to thrive in our roles and relationships.

  • Don't just rely on a test to find your type

    Enneagram tests are becoming highly accurate, but not all tests are created equal. Even the most reliable tests can be wrong because they are based on the test taker's level of self-awareness. Tests are a great starting place for narrowing down your type and trying on one or two to build the self-awareness to confirm the type. If tests aren't your thing, there are many podcasts or books that explain the types. Same rules apply.

  • Understanding the connections between the numbers is key

    One of the best parts of the Enneagram model is how dynamic it shows us we are and the ways in which our personality adapts to the situation. Every type has access to 4 other personality characteristics - 2 wing types (the numbers on either side of your type) and 2 other types, your Stress and Rest numbers. We can also understand our types more clearly by learning about unique groups of three types called Triads.

  • The Enneagram is a tool, not a box

    The power of the Enneagram exists in its ability to recognize who we are at our core - what we're most afraid of and what we most desire in life. It encourages us to use our strengths to thrive as well as uncover the (usually subconscious) barriers that keep us stuck and unhappy. You are wonderfully made and the world needs your healthiest self.

  • Find a teacher or coach

    There are many great ways to learn about the Enneagram types, but it can get overwhelming quickly if you jump in alone. Getting a coach. counselor, or finding an Enneagram teacher to help guide you through the information is crucial. They can help you know the basic information but more importantly help you learn what your type looks like, unique to you.

Ready to learn more?

Get the Type 2 Growth Guide

What’s Included:

  • Over 100 pages of tools I’ve used with my own clients, personalized for a Type 2

  • Roadblocks to growth

  • Self-care suggestions

  • The Quick Reference Guide for all Types (my favorite go-to)

  • A personalized workbook to build self-awareness and spark exploration